Episode3: Dog Daze of Boredom

Dog daze of boredom

Note: When Spike has dialogue, he's thinking the dialogue. This cartoon is from Spike's perspective, so it's about him.

Spike is laying in the dining room looking aimlessly under the table. Rob walks by.

Rob: Hi Spike!

Rob waves and keeps walking. Spike looks up at him for a second and looks back at where he was looking before. Later, Rob walks by again.

Rob: Hi Spike!

Same thing as before happens. This happens a few more times, with Spike getting more and more annoyed each time it happens. After Rob says it the last time, Spike is really annoyed.

Spike: If Rob walks by and says hi one more damn time, I'm gonna.. I'm gonna..

Rob walks by.

Rob: Hi Spike!

Spike: Lick my lips and blink.

Spike licks his lips and blinks. Spike hears something. He jumps up and runs to the door. He spots a squirrel.

Spike: HEY ITS A SQUIRREL IM GONNA GET EM!

Spike runs to the door and scratches at the door. He stands there happily panting for a second. He looks back and no one is coming. He scratches at the door again. He looks back and stops scratching. He walks and spots Rob just standing there stroking his sideburns. Rob notices Spike.

Rob: Hey, Spike, you want something?

Spike jumps up.

Spike: Yes!

Rob: What, you want to go outside or something?

Spike lays down real quick.

Spike: Yeah!

Rob: Yeah, you probably want to go outside.

Spike starts galloping in place, but backwards. So he's throwing his back legs up all weirdly

Spike: Positive! Affirmative! True! Another synonym for yes!

Rob: Alright, hold on. I'm stroking my sideburns.

Spike stands there looking unhappy.

Rob: What? Can't a man stroke his sideburns without getting weird looks?

Spike stands in exactly the same manner.

Rob: Or in your case, normal looks. Is it even possible for you to make weird looks?

Spike sticks his tongue out and squints his eyes.

Rob: You know what? That was awesome enough for me to just let you out.

Rob lets Spike out.

Rob: While stroking my sideburns! Multitasking!

Spike barks at a squirrel that's in a tree. The squirrel sits there and looks down at him.

Squirrel: What's his problem?

Spike barks more.

Squirrel: Yeah, I get it. You don't like me. Hi.

Spike still barks. The squirrel runs off. In the trees.

Squirrel: Asshole.

Some dogs walk up the street.

Dog: Hey, Spike.

Spike furiously barks while running at them. Then he stops and looks happy.

Spike: Oh, hey.

Dog: Dude, what the hell?

Spike: Sorry, my vision's not what it used to be I guess.

Spike blinks. He starts barking again and gallops in place.

Dog: I'm right here!

Spike: No, that time it wasn't you. I'm scared of the dark. Even if it is for a split second while I blink.

Dog: Really?

Spike: Well, I forget. See, I'm so old now that I forget shit all the time-WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!

Spike barks again.

Dog: Whatever, I'm going to go back home if you're going to be like that.

Spike: More squirrels for me! IMA GET YA!

Spike hears something outside and turns quickly toward the window in the kitchen.

Spike: Who-da-fuck?!

Spike gets up and runs to the window. He looks outside. It's Johny walking home from school.

Spike: IT'S JOHNY!

Spike does a backflip. Johny opens the door and Spike bolts out. He pounces on Johny, launching them both off the porch.

Johny: Ow, my spine...

Johny's on his back and Spike is laying over his chest.

Spike: Hi.

Johny pushes Spike off and Spike is chipper as a... um.. chipmunk. Eh... Look, he's just chipper. Johny stands up and brushes himself off.

Johny: Damn, dog, you stink.

Spike is wagging his tail like crazy, sort of galloping in place.

Spike: Yeah!

Johny and Spike walk inside. Spike walks under him and pokes his head between his legs.

Johny: Ok, Spike, calm down! Jeez.

Spike: OH GOD what I wouldn't give to get a belly rub.

Johny keeps walking and sits down at the computer.

Spike: Aw fucking shit damn.

Some noise can be heard on the TV. Spike hears it and looks around. Rob walks into the room and stands around. Just so you're not like "Where the fuck'd Rob come from?".

TV: And now back to the random noises hour on the pointless channel. Why? Because we can.

Spike: What-the-fuck?

Johny: Hey, look, the TV's making Spike freak. Check this out. Meow!

Spike looks at Johny. Johny makes the same sounds again, but turns his head and covers his mouth.

Johny: Meow! Meow!

Spike looks around.

Rob: Moo!

Johny looks at Rob all stupid like.

Rob: Cactus!

Spike looks around serious. He bolts into the kitchen.

Johny: ...what kind of animal makes that sound?

Rob: I DO! High five!

Rob holds up a paper mache hand.

Johny: ...um...

Rob: Eh? Eh? Paper mache hand. Sure comes in... HANDY!

Johny: Ok Rob.

Rob: This is the coolest thing ever... HANDS DOWN!

Johny: Why do you keep bringing weird stuff home? I think that school's warping your mind.

Rob: *excited glee sound*

Johny has a flashback to when they were young. They're standing in the same places and Rob makes the same excited glee sound he just made. He flashes back further and they're even younger and the same thing happens. Flash back to Johny in their mother's stomach and Rob's a little kid and yet again he makes the excited glee sound. Johny snaps out of his little flashback marathon.

Johny: ...no wait, you've always been crazy.

Rob: Pretty perceptive, John. Gotta HAND it to ya!

Johny: Where's your list of puns for this?

Rob: Right here.

Rob pulls out a list. Johny rips it up.

Rob: Aw.

Johny looks back to the computer. Dad's on it.

Johny: Well, time to-Hey!

Dad: Oh, hey, I need the internet.

Johny: I was on it!

Dad: You weren't on it just now.

Johny: Dude-

Dad: I'll give it back in a second. I just have to print out my solitaire record.

Dad starts printing some shit. Spike starts doing that pre-bark breathe thing he does at the printer.

Spike: Hey. Quit it. Stop it. Your voice hurts! IT HURTS!

Dad: Spike, get in the kitchen!

Spike looks at Dad.

Spike: You get in the kitchen.

Dad: I mean it, dog.

Spike: Me too, homie. I'm going to kill this thing and it's going to be fucking epic.

Spike turns to the printer and puts his hand on the printer tray.

Spike: Now where's its heart.

Johny: Spike!

Spike instantly turns around.

Spike: JOHNY!

Johny: Come here, Spike! Look, your pillow!

Spike pants happily and wags his tail.

Johny: Your bone's here too!

Spike pants more and wags his tail crazier.

Johny: I'm even gonna pet you!

Spike's tail is going apeshit at this point.

Johny: Belly rub?

Spike's tail is spinning helicopter-wise now, and he lifts off like a helicopter.

Rob: Gasp! My theory was true! Spike CAN fly! FLY DOG! FLY!

Spike flies higher until he hits the ceiling fan. The ceiling fan catches Spike's tail and sends him flying into the kitchen. He lands on the ground and slides over to his pillow. Spike looks up at Johny and pants happily.

Johny: Spike...

Johny starts petting Spike.

Dad: Ok, John, you can have the computer.

Johny: Sweet.

Johny runs lightning quick and Spike's head lands on the pillow. Spike looks sadly over to where Johny was walking.

Spike: Piece of shit.

Spike is in the kitchen laying under the kitchen table. Which is in the kitchen. Where a kitchen table should be. Kitchen.

Spike: Well, I'm bored. Johny's glued to that damn game again. Everybody's TOO BUSY to shower me with attention. Time for me to go dooown tooown.

Spike licks his crotch. Rob walks to Johny.

Rob: Johny.

Johny: Rob.

Rob: Spike's a dog.

Johny: Yeah.

Rob: Dogs like being pettededed.

Johny: Runescape likes being playded.

Rob: Playdough.

Johny: Playdon't.

Rob: Play with yourself.

Johny: No.

Rob: I win! Let's bother Spike.

Johny: K.

Johny and Rob walk into the kitchen to bother Spike, but Spike's engorging himself. Screen goes black.

Rob: Spike!

Johny: Ew.

Spike: Do ya mind?

THE END